So these past two weeks have been incredibly tough for many reasons...but the biggest two have been exhaustion and the f act that a cold morphed into a beast. I have been going off of adrenaline and this huge sense to get the house ready for market...feeling like I just can't quite get everything done that needs to get done...most especially spending any quality time with the kiddos. A nice blessing, though...every bit in the sense of Christmas 365...these two neighbors of mine, Heather and Lori, have been like angels on a mercy mission. Without ever having asked them for help, they have shown up pretty much every day this past week to paint and clean alongside me...and there is no way that this house could have been as ready as it is without their help. Thank you, Lord...and thank you Lori and Heather!
But tonight...so many things have come together...and now we are in the brink of our first journey to Alaska.
We have met with two realtors and will be making a decision soon as to who we will hire. The house is looking good and very near being ready to list. The children are spending this next week with their grandparents. We are packed and ready... In the morning, Heather will drop us off at the airport where we will fly to Dallas...and then on to Anchorage for our house-hunting trip. We will arrive on the summer solstice...the day the sun will rise at 4:20 a.m. and set at 11:42 p.m.
I have heard so many stories...from the scary to the fantastical...and everything in between...and tomorrow we will personally set foot in this new, incredible place often described as the last, true frontier in America...the place that will be home for a few years. Am I excited? I don't know what I am. I am going with an open mind...and I will share with you all as this adventure unfolds.
Look for pictures!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Adrenaline, Angels and Favor
I know that many people have gone before me in terms of having to moving quickly and drastically from place to place. I have heard stories, many of them, and from most - they are still alive to tell the tale...so I know I will survive, too. Can I just say that this is hard?
Everything seems to be happening so fast and yet things are getting done...but it is exhausting and my body isn't cooperating. For example, as I write this, it is 5:49 a.m. and I have been awake since 5:11 a.m. after having gone to bed a bit past midnight...and I have this crazy amount of adrenaline coursing through my body. Yesterday, I awoke at 6:17 a.m...after having gone to bed late...and I just can't seem to stop that darn adrenaline. This has been the pattern since about last Sunday. Long, work-intensive days followed by very little sleep.
It is no doubt a case of fight or flight...and in my case - the answer is "yes" to both.
So, so many loose ends to tie up. So, so many details I cannot overlook. So I live by lists. And in the midst of it all, God sends His angels to watch over me and my family. Thank you, Lord.
It started the first day Pat was in Washington, D.C. when my neighbor, Heather, let herself into my home while I was at work to help me finish painting my kitchen cabinets. She repeated this pattern last week. She would go for a walk in the morning and then let herself into my home to help me clean and prep the surfaces that need paint. I have confirmation from her that she will be my helping this coming week as well. I never asked her for this help - she just stepped in because she knows I need help - and can I say how much I appreciate her?
Then there is my other neighbor, Jeannette, who despite the fact she has four children of her own, stepped in and offered to pick up Liam from preschool last week when I had three kids in three camps while working full-time and trying to get my daughter to a swim meet by 5 p.m. Jeannette is notorious for being there when someone needs help...and she, too, just quietly swoops in and just helps in any way she can. She is a calming force of goodness...and I'm grateful to her.
Lauren came and spent some time with me while Pat was gone and I was an angry, overwhelmed thing. I really felt out of control...and so she came and was just company...and I so needed to know that I wasn't alone and that things truly would be okay...and she did that for me.
Then I will throw a shout-out to Greg and Emily, longtime friends, who know that Pat and I don't have a lot of time to spend with the children because we are working so intensely to get the house sale-ready...so they come pick up the children so the children can have fun...and then they offer us dinner yesterday and it is such a HUGE blessing not to have to worry about dinner for my family. The food was fantastic, the conversation better...and they offered us lunch today...and dinner this next coming week if we will just call to let them know we'd like to come over...and please...don't worry about anything they say. Wow.
Our other friend Christie is coming over today to escort the children to our neighborhood pool...and so many others have offered help. To me - they are all angels and I need every one of them.
So despite the crazy, frenetic, slightly overwhelming state of being - I know God is near. During this time, I have also experienced extreme instances of favor that make me smile and say, Thank you, Lord. My favorite one invloved my wanting to get a haircut at the Aveda Institute. I called to make an appointment on Thursday knowing that it was such short notice that I probably wouldn't get in to a senior stylist for a while. After discussing options with the receptionist, I was disconnected and as I was going into a meeting, I couldn't call back until later in the afternoon. So I called and yes - I couldn't get in with a senior...or a junior for a while but they had plenty of sophomore stylists. So I think - well, it's Aveda and they are all highly trained so sure, let's go with a sophomore. As the young lady is scheduling me, she informs me that she has scheduled me with a senior as a cancellation just came in. YAY! I now have a haircut that I love. Thank you, Lord!
I know that last is rather a petty example...but to me - it lets me know that what is important to me is important to the Lord...and so I feel that here and there, He let's me know He's watching out for me and my family.
I'm going to sign off now as I need to add to my to-do list as I have remembered some other things I don't want to forget...plus I really, really need some coffee.
I've been asked if I am excited by the upcoming move...and the truth is, I haven't really had a chance to catch my breath much less process the magnitude of the change that is coming. I am just putting one foot in front of the other and working through my to-do lists...but I can say that through this all...I am excited to be loved and taken care of by my friends...I appreciate them...I love them...and I'm grateful for being alive at such a time as this so I can use Facebook to remain close to them!! :)
Everything seems to be happening so fast and yet things are getting done...but it is exhausting and my body isn't cooperating. For example, as I write this, it is 5:49 a.m. and I have been awake since 5:11 a.m. after having gone to bed a bit past midnight...and I have this crazy amount of adrenaline coursing through my body. Yesterday, I awoke at 6:17 a.m...after having gone to bed late...and I just can't seem to stop that darn adrenaline. This has been the pattern since about last Sunday. Long, work-intensive days followed by very little sleep.
It is no doubt a case of fight or flight...and in my case - the answer is "yes" to both.
So, so many loose ends to tie up. So, so many details I cannot overlook. So I live by lists. And in the midst of it all, God sends His angels to watch over me and my family. Thank you, Lord.
It started the first day Pat was in Washington, D.C. when my neighbor, Heather, let herself into my home while I was at work to help me finish painting my kitchen cabinets. She repeated this pattern last week. She would go for a walk in the morning and then let herself into my home to help me clean and prep the surfaces that need paint. I have confirmation from her that she will be my helping this coming week as well. I never asked her for this help - she just stepped in because she knows I need help - and can I say how much I appreciate her?
Then there is my other neighbor, Jeannette, who despite the fact she has four children of her own, stepped in and offered to pick up Liam from preschool last week when I had three kids in three camps while working full-time and trying to get my daughter to a swim meet by 5 p.m. Jeannette is notorious for being there when someone needs help...and she, too, just quietly swoops in and just helps in any way she can. She is a calming force of goodness...and I'm grateful to her.
Lauren came and spent some time with me while Pat was gone and I was an angry, overwhelmed thing. I really felt out of control...and so she came and was just company...and I so needed to know that I wasn't alone and that things truly would be okay...and she did that for me.
Then I will throw a shout-out to Greg and Emily, longtime friends, who know that Pat and I don't have a lot of time to spend with the children because we are working so intensely to get the house sale-ready...so they come pick up the children so the children can have fun...and then they offer us dinner yesterday and it is such a HUGE blessing not to have to worry about dinner for my family. The food was fantastic, the conversation better...and they offered us lunch today...and dinner this next coming week if we will just call to let them know we'd like to come over...and please...don't worry about anything they say. Wow.
Our other friend Christie is coming over today to escort the children to our neighborhood pool...and so many others have offered help. To me - they are all angels and I need every one of them.
So despite the crazy, frenetic, slightly overwhelming state of being - I know God is near. During this time, I have also experienced extreme instances of favor that make me smile and say, Thank you, Lord. My favorite one invloved my wanting to get a haircut at the Aveda Institute. I called to make an appointment on Thursday knowing that it was such short notice that I probably wouldn't get in to a senior stylist for a while. After discussing options with the receptionist, I was disconnected and as I was going into a meeting, I couldn't call back until later in the afternoon. So I called and yes - I couldn't get in with a senior...or a junior for a while but they had plenty of sophomore stylists. So I think - well, it's Aveda and they are all highly trained so sure, let's go with a sophomore. As the young lady is scheduling me, she informs me that she has scheduled me with a senior as a cancellation just came in. YAY! I now have a haircut that I love. Thank you, Lord!
I know that last is rather a petty example...but to me - it lets me know that what is important to me is important to the Lord...and so I feel that here and there, He let's me know He's watching out for me and my family.
I'm going to sign off now as I need to add to my to-do list as I have remembered some other things I don't want to forget...plus I really, really need some coffee.
I've been asked if I am excited by the upcoming move...and the truth is, I haven't really had a chance to catch my breath much less process the magnitude of the change that is coming. I am just putting one foot in front of the other and working through my to-do lists...but I can say that through this all...I am excited to be loved and taken care of by my friends...I appreciate them...I love them...and I'm grateful for being alive at such a time as this so I can use Facebook to remain close to them!! :)
Saturday, June 4, 2011
A Day of Reflection
I have decided not to tack numbers to this adventure as it will just be one more thing to keep track of...and right now - there are many, many things to keep track of. Pat leaves tomorrow morning for a week's worth of training in Washington DC and I will remain behind with the three children. I know we will be okay.
Today, Pat power washed the outside of our home (it looks like it got a new paint job - who knew?!) and I worked on getting the kitchen clean.
As I purge our home of superfluous stuff - dishes, candles, dust and grime...I feel my soul getting lighter...and freer... And then the thoughtfulness begins.
Dylan and I run out to Lowe's for some supplies I'll need while Pat is away. We get two gallons of paint, some brushes and caulk. We laugh. We talk about reinventing ourselves. We talk about how surreal it all is. We pick up a Chinese feast for dinner and meet Pat and Liam at the pool as it is definitely quitting time. Lilly is at a sleepover party so it's just me and my boys.
After we eat, I watch the three play in the water. I don't get in because I don't have my suit on. So I lay on the bench and watch them. I try to say goodbye to the soft twilight breeze. I try to say goodbye to the neighborhood pool. As I feel the gentle warmth of the breeze blow through my hair, I close my eyes and try to hold on to that feeling...the physical touch of warm breeze. And I think about how fitting Natasha Bedingfield's song, "Unwritten" is. Here are some of the beginning lyrics for those of you that don't know it:
Today, Pat power washed the outside of our home (it looks like it got a new paint job - who knew?!) and I worked on getting the kitchen clean.
As I purge our home of superfluous stuff - dishes, candles, dust and grime...I feel my soul getting lighter...and freer... And then the thoughtfulness begins.
Dylan and I run out to Lowe's for some supplies I'll need while Pat is away. We get two gallons of paint, some brushes and caulk. We laugh. We talk about reinventing ourselves. We talk about how surreal it all is. We pick up a Chinese feast for dinner and meet Pat and Liam at the pool as it is definitely quitting time. Lilly is at a sleepover party so it's just me and my boys.
After we eat, I watch the three play in the water. I don't get in because I don't have my suit on. So I lay on the bench and watch them. I try to say goodbye to the soft twilight breeze. I try to say goodbye to the neighborhood pool. As I feel the gentle warmth of the breeze blow through my hair, I close my eyes and try to hold on to that feeling...the physical touch of warm breeze. And I think about how fitting Natasha Bedingfield's song, "Unwritten" is. Here are some of the beginning lyrics for those of you that don't know it:
I am unwritten
Can't read my mind,
I'm undefined.
I'm just beginning,
pen in my hand,
ending unplanned.
How appropriate is that?! That is how I have to think about this whole big thing. It is - ending unplanned... The only thing I can plan for is the time that I have remaining in my home state...because once I board that plane with my family in six weeks...I have no point of reference for what awaits. None.
So after a while, I go home and get my suit on and swim with the boys. Why not, I ask myself? It's not like we will be able to enjoy a neighborhood pool in a few weeks. After a while, we decide to go for a treat to get mini blizzards at Dairy Queen. We drive with the windows rolled all the way down and the sunroof open. We listen to good tunes as the boys laugh in the back seat. I close my eyes and think, "Goodbye Dairy Queen."
Don't get me wrong, I'm not really melancholy although I have a feeling that you might get that impression. I'm really not. I'm just trying to explain what's in my heart. The process of thoroughly and 150% enjoying those things that will not be in a few weeks...just like the sweet and wonderful watermelon our neighbor brought by. Yes - I am determined to gorge myself on sweet Texas watermelon as that will go by the way of snow cones in Alaska...rare.
I will end now to help Pat pack...and to spend some time with him.
Until next time...
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Christmas 365 Changes to a New Adventure (Alaska - Day 1)
It has been a very long time since I have written. Christmas 365 turned out to be an incredibly difficult undertaking to say the least as living with intention when working full-time and parenting full-time and running a house full-time is also part of your life. I have still tried to live with intention...but I have a confession to make.
Early this year, I was diagnosed with what the doctors believed to be benign tumors...which really freaked me out because I had some removed in the Fall. And the doctors thought they were benign but there is never a guarantee until you have the growths removed. I went into an introspective mode and had many conversations with God. About life...about healing...about feeling unworthy of good things. So I didn't blog...because I went into a "me" mode and it's hard to think about others when you're thinking about yourself, you know?
Then one day I heard in my brain that I was healed of those growths and although I disbelieved what I heard...it came to pass anyway. And so began this weird need/desire to trust in the Lord and to really understand what that means...not just in theory...but in real-life application. If I believed in God...how could I not believe in everything that He stands for in His word?
Not too much later - Pat opened up a discussion about applying for a promotion position called a Hearing Office Director (HOD)...with the caveat that we would probably have to move to "anywhere USA" if he got this job... So I agreed that he should look and apply...and so he did.
One day he lets me know that a HOD position is available in Anchorage, Alaska and what do I think about this. At first blush - I get very excited. I think it would be a great adventure and opportunity for our family. I think it would be great to get the heck out of dodge and go see some new sights. I think it is the perfect time considering the children's ages. I think he should absolutely try...and so he does. And throughout the whole process - we both feel really good within our spirits that this is right and proper...that we will indeed move and that this is what the Lord wants for us. We talk to the children and they are equally excited...and everything is peachy. So Pat applies and a week later he gets notice that he has made "the best qualified list" which means he qualifies for the job and is in the running for it. We smile... Then about two weeks later, he gets a call for an interview...and we smile. He knocks the interview out of the ballpark and I think, "how can he not get the job? He's the best! He is the most qualified! They just couldn't pass him up!"
And then the waiting began in earnest to see if it would come to pass. Meanwhile our oldest child is convinced that we are going...and Pat and I still feel really good about it...but none of it was really real...until today.
Today we got word that they have offered him the position...and he accepted...and so within about six short weeks, we will be gone... Gone to a new environment, a new home...new food...new people...and a new way of life. And now I'm not so sure about things but it is too late. And so to make this all bearable and to not feel so lonely for everything that I know...I want to bring you guys into this journey.
Will you come to Alaska with me?
I'm tired and overwhelmed right now. We need to get our home ready to sell. That is A LOT of work! I need to give notice at my job and reconcile the million details on my plate there...and that is A LOT of work. Pat is leaving this Sunday for two weeks of training and I will be alone with the three kids as I'm trying to sort through things...and that is A LOT of work. I feel the need to research Anchorage neighborhoods and schools and possible places to live - oh, yeah - and work (!)...and that is A LOT of work. Then I feel my tired body and I just want to sleep.
I know things will work out better than I expect - because I know that I know that God is all over this. But for now I'm just tired. Tomorrow is another day...and I just want to know that I will continue to have this link with my friends and family even if I happen to be writing 4500 miles away from everyone.
I think this will truly be the adventure of a lifetime! Annie
Early this year, I was diagnosed with what the doctors believed to be benign tumors...which really freaked me out because I had some removed in the Fall. And the doctors thought they were benign but there is never a guarantee until you have the growths removed. I went into an introspective mode and had many conversations with God. About life...about healing...about feeling unworthy of good things. So I didn't blog...because I went into a "me" mode and it's hard to think about others when you're thinking about yourself, you know?
Then one day I heard in my brain that I was healed of those growths and although I disbelieved what I heard...it came to pass anyway. And so began this weird need/desire to trust in the Lord and to really understand what that means...not just in theory...but in real-life application. If I believed in God...how could I not believe in everything that He stands for in His word?
Not too much later - Pat opened up a discussion about applying for a promotion position called a Hearing Office Director (HOD)...with the caveat that we would probably have to move to "anywhere USA" if he got this job... So I agreed that he should look and apply...and so he did.
One day he lets me know that a HOD position is available in Anchorage, Alaska and what do I think about this. At first blush - I get very excited. I think it would be a great adventure and opportunity for our family. I think it would be great to get the heck out of dodge and go see some new sights. I think it is the perfect time considering the children's ages. I think he should absolutely try...and so he does. And throughout the whole process - we both feel really good within our spirits that this is right and proper...that we will indeed move and that this is what the Lord wants for us. We talk to the children and they are equally excited...and everything is peachy. So Pat applies and a week later he gets notice that he has made "the best qualified list" which means he qualifies for the job and is in the running for it. We smile... Then about two weeks later, he gets a call for an interview...and we smile. He knocks the interview out of the ballpark and I think, "how can he not get the job? He's the best! He is the most qualified! They just couldn't pass him up!"
And then the waiting began in earnest to see if it would come to pass. Meanwhile our oldest child is convinced that we are going...and Pat and I still feel really good about it...but none of it was really real...until today.
Today we got word that they have offered him the position...and he accepted...and so within about six short weeks, we will be gone... Gone to a new environment, a new home...new food...new people...and a new way of life. And now I'm not so sure about things but it is too late. And so to make this all bearable and to not feel so lonely for everything that I know...I want to bring you guys into this journey.
Will you come to Alaska with me?
I'm tired and overwhelmed right now. We need to get our home ready to sell. That is A LOT of work! I need to give notice at my job and reconcile the million details on my plate there...and that is A LOT of work. Pat is leaving this Sunday for two weeks of training and I will be alone with the three kids as I'm trying to sort through things...and that is A LOT of work. I feel the need to research Anchorage neighborhoods and schools and possible places to live - oh, yeah - and work (!)...and that is A LOT of work. Then I feel my tired body and I just want to sleep.
I know things will work out better than I expect - because I know that I know that God is all over this. But for now I'm just tired. Tomorrow is another day...and I just want to know that I will continue to have this link with my friends and family even if I happen to be writing 4500 miles away from everyone.
I think this will truly be the adventure of a lifetime! Annie
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