A Day of Reflection

I have decided not to tack numbers to this adventure as it will just be one more thing to keep track of...and right now - there are many, many things to keep track of.  Pat leaves tomorrow morning for a week's worth of training in Washington DC and I will remain behind with the three children.  I know we will be okay.

Today, Pat power washed the outside of our home (it looks like it got a new paint job - who knew?!) and I worked on getting the kitchen clean. 

As I purge our home of superfluous stuff - dishes, candles, dust and grime...I feel my soul getting lighter...and freer...  And then the thoughtfulness begins.

Dylan and I run out to Lowe's for some supplies I'll need while Pat is away.  We get two gallons of paint, some brushes and caulk.  We laugh.  We talk about reinventing ourselves.  We talk about how surreal it all is.  We pick up a Chinese feast for dinner and meet Pat and Liam at the pool as it is definitely quitting time.  Lilly is at a sleepover party so it's just me and my boys.

After we eat, I watch the three play in the water.  I don't get in because I don't have my suit on.  So I lay on the bench and watch them.  I try to say goodbye to the soft twilight breeze.  I try to say goodbye to the neighborhood pool.  As I feel the gentle warmth of the breeze blow through my hair, I close my eyes and try to hold on to that feeling...the physical touch of warm breeze.  And I think about how fitting Natasha Bedingfield's song, "Unwritten" is.  Here are some of the beginning  lyrics for those of you that don't know it:

I am unwritten

Can't read my mind,

I'm undefined.

I'm just beginning,

pen in my hand,

ending unplanned.

How appropriate is that?!  That is how I have to think about this whole big thing.  It is - ending unplanned...  The only thing I can plan for is the time that I have remaining in my home state...because once I board that plane with my family in six weeks...I have no point of reference for what awaits. None.

So after a while, I go home and get my suit on and swim with the boys.  Why not, I ask myself?  It's not like we will be able to enjoy a neighborhood pool in a few weeks.  After a while, we decide to go for a treat to get mini blizzards at Dairy Queen.  We drive with the windows rolled all the way down and the sunroof open.  We listen to good tunes as the boys laugh in the back seat.  I close my eyes and think, "Goodbye Dairy Queen."

Don't get me wrong, I'm not really melancholy although I have a feeling that you might get that impression.  I'm really not.  I'm just trying to explain what's in my heart.  The process of thoroughly and 150% enjoying those things that will not be in a few weeks...just like the sweet and wonderful watermelon our neighbor brought by.  Yes - I am determined to gorge myself on sweet Texas watermelon as that will go by the way of snow cones in Alaska...rare.

I will end now to help Pat pack...and to spend some time with him.

Until next time...