Christmas 365 - Day 56 (Feb 25) to Day 60 (Mar 2)

I got back on track...and then I fell off again as I got some rather shocking news on Friday.   Last August, I had a simple cyst removed from an ovary that ended up being a benign tumor.  After getting the pathology report on my follow-up, I was very, very glad that the ordeal was over and I was healthy.  This remained the case until late in December when I began experiencing pain again in the same general area…  After several weeks, I went back to the doctor…and discovered that the “cyst” had returned.  The doctor and I decided that we would take a wait-and-see approach and have a follow up sonogram in six weeks.  That day was last Friday…and the sonogram showed that not only had the growth not gone away, but it had grown rather quickly in a short amount of time.   It has an irregular shape with two “bubbles” inside of it.  The doctor doesn’t feel it has the look of a malignancy but she is of the opinion that we should take out the entire ovary as this is a repeating problem.  Was just SO not expecting this.  I cried.  I called my husband.  I went home in a bit of a daze.

Let me explain a bit…

1.      I am an absolute freak about my health after having watched my Mom die of cancer.  Don’t get me wrong – I’m not a super-freak in that I exercise like a maniac and watch every molecule that I put into my mouth…but I do like to be aware of my health and take steps to assure it continues to be good.

2.      I have small children yet to raise and I’m not ready to have something potentially threaten that.

3.      I absolutely love life and being present in the moment.

Now I could get into an existential discussion right about now…but that is really not the point I would like to make with this post.  Instead, I want to discuss a statement from an incredible movie called “To Save A Life.”  It isn’t a well-known movie and yet the story is wonderful and towards the very end, one of the characters says, “Life is a journey…but it’s more than the destination…it’s about transformation.”  And when I heard that, it really made me think.

Our whole purpose in life, whether we get it or not, is to transform from selfish, self-centered creatures to people that are holy and giving…no matter what the circumstances being faced.  This can have many different facets…

God is so good!!  I stopped writing the above last night because I couldn't really verbalize what was in my mind...and Pat was watching some special ops show that was very distracting.  As I was going to bed, I felt the opportunity to feel great anxiety over the unknown mass growing in my tummy...but I told myself, no - I'm not going to think scary thoughts and instead, I want to focus on talking to God on how this all works...how illness and healing occur...and I didn't get very far because I felt a soothing calmness overtake me and I feel asleep...no nightmares, no scary thoughts...nothing but refreshing sleep.

This morning I woke up and prayed...and went about my business.  As I was waiting for the shower water to warm up, I picked up the book, "Attitudes of Gratitude," and opened it to a random page...that explained exactly what was in my heart that I couldn't verbalize.  SO - here is what M. J. Ryan wrote:

LOOK FOR THE HIDDEN BLESSINGS OF DIFFICULT SITUATIONS
Quote by Wayne Muller: Some people once brought a blind man to Jesus and asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned - this man or his parents - that he was born blind?" They all wanted to know why this terrible curse had fallen on this man.  And Jesus answered, "It was not that this man sinned, or his parents, but that the words of God might be manifest in him." He told them not to look for why suffering came but to listen for what the suffering could teach them.

      Gratitude is an all-out experience. It's cheating to be grateful only for the good things that happen and to shun the bad. This isn't to saw that we want bad things to happen to us, just that if we can be grateful for the soul-lessons inherent in the difficulties that befall us, then our souls will be able to grow and mature. Otherwise, we never progress, because we fail to use the hardships that dog us to become more loving, more patient, more present, more kind.
      The people whom I admire most in the world say without reservation that the hardest things they had to face - cancer, the death of a child, a bankruptcy, or job loss - had been their greatest teachers and that they were grateful for the lessons.  For me it has been dealing with chronic pain.
      When I was a senior in college I hurt my back. It was the first time my body betrayed me. Until then, I always considered it just a handy container to take my mind where I wanted it to go. But suddenly I couldn't move, and I had to pay attention to it. Eventually I spent over a year in bed.
      It's been twenty years since then, and my back continues to be one of my greatest teachers. I've learned a lot of patience (a hard lesson for me!) and impermanence (just because it hurts like hell today doesn't mean it will tomorrow). I've learned the value of physical discipline ("No time to do those boring back exercises?" my body says. "I'll show you!"). I've learned that I can't push myself beyond limits that I still don't recognize until after I've exceeded them.  That even doing everything "right" is no guarantee I'll be free from pain. I've learned to let go of my wanting it to be better, and I've learned how much I still exist even if I am able to do absolutely nothing. Now, in theory, I could have learned those things some other way, and perhaps I might have. But the truth of my life is that I have learned them through chronic pain - and I'm grateful for the lessons, if not for the pain.
      Right now, write down the ten hardest or most terrible things that ever happened to you.  As you look over the list, can you see the gifts that each of them brought?
      Metaphysical teacher Daniel T. Peralta suggests that when you are suffering from some difficulty whose blessing is invisible to you, you say the following prayer: "I am willing to see the gift in this experience. May the lessons be revealed to me and may I become stronger and clearer."


Life is a journey...but not about the destination...but rather the transformation.  For the remainder of last Friday, Saturday and Sunday - I felt odd...slightly depressed, slightly anxious...and not focused on the things that matter.  The thing in my tummy is going to grow or shrink regardless of what I'm thinking...or doing...so why not embrace the good around me.  If there is one thing that is certain in life it's that you never get any time back.  As my children ran around and laughed and played, as my husband thoughtfully tried to give me space and serve me as best he could...as the breeze blew outside and the sun came out to play...my focus was entirely elsewhere.  Why?  Because I have some bubble on my ovary?  Life is precious...and I believe that in focusing on the things that matter most - children, spouse, friends...relationships - then no matter what, there will be no regrets because you will know that you know you have truly lived life to the fullest. 

The lesson for me seems to be that the more I want to cling to life...the more I am reminded that it is but a short journey in the grand scheme of things...and at some appointed time, my spirit will exist in another realm.  In my heart - I want to learn and transform as much as possible in reflecting less of me and more of Jesus...because there is no one that has ever existed that was/is more beautiful, loving, merciful and compassionate than Him.  I think this bump on my ovary is a lovely reminder that things will happen to my physical body...but life truly marches on...and I for one don't want to miss the parade!

Until tomorrow (or sometime soon!)...    Annie

Christmas 365 - Day 55 (Feb 24)

After whining for a bit yesterday, I'm back on track and pray I will not fall so far behind again if I even just write a short snippet every day.

This morning I drove to Austin to attend a press conference in which Texas Senator Watson and Texas House Rep Naishtat announced legislation that will benefit the homeless.  The press conference was held at a place called Caritas of Austin - an agency that works with the homeless and as I arrived, I realized that I was in the midst of several nonprofits that work with the homeless because the parking lot I parked at was surrounded by them.   I decided that I would do the same thing I do when I go into a place where the marginalized are at - that I would make eye contact, smile, say hello and ask them how they were doing and if they seemed amenable, to talk and maybe pray with them.  These things are all possible with the homeless population that we work with in San Antonio...but it was very different in Austin. 

The homeless that I ran across would not make eye contact and very few would say hello back. Of the ones that would say hello, they just said hello and looked away quickly.  I probably looked like a fish out of water as I was wearing a suit and looked pretty good if I say so myself...but that is exactly what was surprising because I thought they would have flocked to me to see how many dollars or coins they could get out if me...but they didn't.

Hmmmm..... Very interesting indeed....

Even after the press conference was over and I walked out to my car, I didn't see anyone that I could connect to.  These folks seemed really broken in spirit...and I wasn't sure how to reach out to them that would be mutually satisfying.  So I got in my car and left Austin...and the whole way back to San Antonio, I pondered their broken spirits as surely that cannot be what God wants for His children. 

I understand that we live in a broken world that is populated by broken people that sometimes do really awful things to each other...because either that is all they know and they truly are, in their own way, doing the best they can...or they have something gone wrong and doing evil things brings them a feeling of power and/or satisfaction.  It was never meant to be that way...but humans seem to be easily corruptible…and before you know it, people are hurt and begin hurting others…and on and on and on…

I know for many people it is hard to believe that God is in the midst of all this…and I simply don’t have the time right now to go deep into an argument of why I believe and just know deep in my spirit that this is true.  But I know that I know that this was never meant to be…and so now the question becomes, what can we do?  There are many things that we can do and as I’ve written before – the easiest way to change the world is to convince more and more people to lead the way into a loving way of relating to each other…and we do this by being examples of love, mercy and forgiveness within our circles of influence.  But doing that can be really, really hard…especially when people just annoy the heck out of you…  Sooooo – I think now that the first step is to know, to really, really know who we are in Christ.  Here is what the Word says about us:

·         I am crucified with Christ and I no longer live, BUT Christ lives in me. (Galatians 2:20)

·         There is no better example of faithful, merciful love than Jesus…and if He can endure terrible persecution and agonizing pain…and in the midst of it all say, “Abba – forgive them for they know not what they do,” AND He live IN us…then yes, we, too, can let Him flow through us so that we, too, can be amazing examples of the Father’s love

·         The Son has set me free. I am free indeed! (John 8:36)

·         We are bound to sin only in as much as we come into agreement with it. 

·         My body is the temple of the Holy Spirit. (1 Corinthians 6:19)

·         I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13)

·         He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. (Philippians 1:6)

·         There is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)

·         Nothing can ever separate me from the love of God in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:38-39)

·         In all things God works for the good of those who love him. (Romans 8:28)

·         God is faithful. He will not let me be tempted beyond what I can bear. (1 Corinthians 10:13)

·         God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind. (2 Timothy 1:7)

·         My light and momentary troubles are achieving for me an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. (2 Corinthians 4:17)

·         He is able to do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within me. (Ephesians 3:20)

·         God is for me! Who can be against me? (Romans 8:31)

If we internalize these truths…  If we begin to let go of ourselves and allow Him to lead us…  If we give up the illusion of control…  If we rejoice each and every day for our blessings and gifts…and opportunities that come our way…  Then we will change…and when we change, we will impact those around us to change…  And then things will begin to get better…one person at a time.  But we must ALL believe this…  I do.  I believe it.  Do you?

 So tomorrow, I have a plan again for a special Christmas gift.  I pray it will come to pass!  Also, on a different note, most of you might have read about my garden... and I just want to share the update that my garden is showing signs of life as evidenced below!

Picture of back left corner of garden... 
It's very, very dead looking but...

If you look closely, there is evidence of life! 

And although I will not be able to post this until tonight, I'm writing in the early evening and my family is playing basketball without me during this beautiful spring-ish day...so I gotta go...

Until tomorrow...   Annie

Christmas 365 – Day 45 (Feb 14) to Day 54 (Feb 23)

I’m going to whine for a little bit.  My life has exploded and I have become very, very busy.  I have many different projects brewing at work and more and more opportunities are coming my way that I must develop.  At home, there is hardly time for anything selfish like blogging…plus we have been dealing with some pretty heavy emotional stuff that just seems to drain the energy away.  My immediate family is wonderfully good, thank God…but God is shifting us into another season and as such, we have had to say good-bye to certain things…and good-byes are never an easy thing to deal with.

Despite these issues, the Christmas spirit has been operating.  On Valentines, two thoughtful things happened.  One my doing and the other not.  I baked brownies for our surrounding neighbors.  I cut them into bite-size squares and placed them within mini cupcake liners – half double chocolate and the other half German chocolate.  They were much appreciated!   Then Pat surprised me by arranging for a babysitter so he and I could go to dinner.  This was a surprise because we always celebrate an un-Valentines Valentine.  Regardless – it was nice.  We went to a little hole-in-the-wall restaurant close to home called Aladin’s Grill where you can have some very yummy Mediterranean food.  We were the only ones there other than the family that owns the restaurant.  They were all sitting together at a table sharing a meal, laughing and talking about love.  The children were giggling and the adults were smiling and it was wonderful to watch.  The service was great and everything was lovely and then as Pat and I were finishing our meal, the Mom (our waitress/hostess) came over with two small plates containing some orange cake she had baked, a chocolate bonbon and a chocolate candy that she had served from her family’s table.   I don’t know why that brought tears to my eyes.  I was so happy and grateful for such a tiny gesture…but that she would be thoughtful enough to slice some cake and arrange it with some candies for us…so that we could be part of their celebration, too…  The children, grandparents and friends watched her…and they watched our happy reaction…and it was totally the Christmas spirit operating on Valentine’s…  It was simply beautiful.

Then - amidst other tiny, thoughtful things - last Friday stands out as special for the Christmas spirit.  I and three other friends were on our way to a ladies retreat and as we were zooming down IH-10 East, we passed an old man with white hair leaning down on a cane...he was off the access road and not walking...just leaning on his cane.  Only two of us saw him...and we quickly tried to figure out whether or not we should turn back and check on him as he clearly looked to be homeless.  After a couple of minutes, we decided to turn around and pass him to see if he looked to be in trouble.  As we approached him slowly, we realized that he looked very, very tired.  We passed him and pulled off to the side where he couldn't see us.  We talked about what we should do and we decided that we would pull together some cash and also offer him a ride...and that is what we did.  His name is Ken and he is 69 years old.  He only carries his cane and a Bible...and the odd thing about him is that he smelled of the earth instead of a more unpleasant aroma.  We gave him a ride to the next gas station which happened to have a restaurant.  He said he was on his way to Houston and he had been walking the Texas highways since he was 18 because his parents had died and he didn't know what else to do with himself.  We gave him the cash and offered to pray with him....and that was that.

Although I have engaged in other thoughtful things, those two are my favorites in this time that I haven't blogged.  Two days ago, during rush hour traffic, I found myself listening to worship music as I often do in the morning...and I was beating myself up about how I start things but have a hard time following through.  I was upset and stressed...and feeling inadequate and just thinking about negative things, real or perceived, about myself...and then it's funny how God can speak to you in songs.

The songs that played were all about how oftentimes He doesn't want us to DO anything for Him, He just wants us to spend time with Him...because He loves us...and thinks we are beautiful and interesting...and I began to cry because I realized that in my rushing around like a crazy chicken, oh-so-worried about not being able to get everything done...I was missing the point...

The point of the blog is to share my journey as I try to live the Christmas spirit every day...and a huge part of the Christmas spirit is joy...and when you stop experiencing joy because you feel you gotta just get it done...you are once again falling away from the Christmas spirit and living more like the world...and less like Jesus.

I'm glad He reminded me of those things...  I can stop beating myself up now...and stop feeling inadequate.  I am perfect in His sight...even with all my junk, He loves me...and all of you guys, too.  He wants us to walk alongside Him...and share our journeys with Him...when they are joyful...and most especially when they're tough.

If you are not experiencing joy in your life, I encourage you to take an inventory and see what the things are that are truly worth your time so that you can let go of those things that aren't.  It isn't always an easy process but I think the reward at the end is invaluable.  Maybe we need to let go of TV or the Internet or trashy books.  Perhaps we need to spend more time with our significant other or children or family or friends.  I don't know...  But I do know that within each of us live dreams and desires that we probably squash in favor of other things that in thoughtful consideration are probably not all that gratifying.

This blog is important to me...and I have to cut myself a break - that between a full-time job and a housefhold with young children, I may not get to blog every day as I desire...but I'm going to promise that I'm not giving up on this journey...because when I post a posting - it brings me great joy...and it's worth it to me as this is important in my life.

I pray you each find something just as gratifying that is uniquely yours and brings a smile to your face...that when you finish, you can think to yourself, "well done."

Until tomorrow (I hope!)....    Annie

Christmas 364 - Day 44 (Feb 13)

So I like to think that I have it all together...most of the time!  I seem to live and die by my calendar and I've become super detail-oriented and I can plan like nobody else!  However...I do have those moments when I really miss something big..like tonight...the eve of Valentine's Day...and no, it's not my hubby who would have been missing out but my baby boy...Liam.

I was going to blog about something else...but tonight made me realize the sacrifices parents make to ensure their kiddos don't feel the brunt of their having messed up (the parents...not the kid).  Not that all parents concern themselves with such things...but here, let me share my story and then I'll come back to that.

So at 10:31 p.m. as Pat was brushing his teeth and I was in bed looking at my calendar, I exclaimed, "OH, HOLY COW!!!!! Tomorrow is Valentines!!!!"  Pat said, "So?  We always have an un-Valentines Valentines."  I replied, "It's not you!!  Tomorrow is Liam's Valentines party...and not only did we not get the plates and juice boxes I signed him up for...I didn't even get him Valentines for his friends!!!!" 

The mad-dash began with figuring out who would go to the store.  We decided Pat should go.  Fifteen minutes after he leaves, I get a call.  "Yeah...this is bad.  HEB has totally been picked over.  So should I get him Handy Manny or Thomas the Train?"

Oh, my gosh!  What to do, what to do?! Although Liam liked Thomas once upon a time, I thought he might think it was too baby now...and Handy Manny - I don't think Liam even knows who he is.  Hmmmm.   Don't they have anything else? Like Cougars or something?"  "Nah...it's bad.  Oh, wait!  They have Sesame Street with Elmo and Big Bird."  "SOLD!!!  Get those and a bag of lollipops so we can tape them to the cards and not be so lame."

Pat shopped like a champ.  He got home and we not only set Liam up for success but we also got cards and chocolates for the older kids...and in the morning...no one would be the wiser.  Thank you, Jesus!

I must admit...I dream of being one of those put-together parents that actually make goodie-bags for their kids.  I dream of baking beautiful cupcakes with fantastic frosting swirls that would give Martha Stewart a run for her money.  But so far - those things are only dreams in my head.  But, in those manic moments of going from loser-parents to awesome-parents, it dawned on me.  My love for my children is deep indeed...because it isn't just for anyone that I would jump through those hoops for...at 10:30 p.m. after a long day.  Then - in may natural sap way, I thought of kiddos who wouldn't be so blessed...and that is where the thoughts about parents that don't go out on a limb for the kids came in.

I am very (VERY) passionate about children.  My heart often breaks when I think of the ones that are marginalized and hurting.  At work, I was asked if I thought that homelessness would ever end and I replied yes - if, and only IF, our communities are willing to join forces and activate as advocates for the children because that is where the answer lies.  I then asked the person to imagine a room full of three year-olds from the wealthiest of families to the poorest of families.  Dress them all the same and stick them in a room with some toys and what would you get?  Happy pandemonium is what you would get!  There would be very little distinction between the children.  They would laugh and run around squealing in glee.  You would have some criers...but I don't you would be able to tell which family they belonged to based on their cries.  But then you separate the children and place them back in their homes...and something happens to the poor ones.  How many times are they yelled at?  How many times are they told they are worthless?  How many times are they raped or molested?  How many times are the beaten?  And how many times does it take before that beautiful little spirit full of life and potential is crushed?  How many?  And we expect these children to not only go to school...but to do WELL!  Really?  Under the same conditions even now as adults - could WE do well?  Probably not...

For those of you that have an opportunity to be around children - your own or others - be patient and kind to them.  They are children and often don't have the sophistication to process information as we do.  They really don't get "it" - whatever "it" may be.  I'm ashamed to admit that there was a time I really believed my older two would do things to simply annoy me into distraction...and sometimes anger...but then something happened inside myself (thank God) and I began to realize that they are just being themselves and acting like children...and that it was MY job to learn how to handle their antics as an adult...and that meant not yelling back, not "stooping to their level" but rather patiently (and yes - sometimes sternly) redirecting them so that they could learn what is acceptable...and what isn't.  Maybe I'm preaching to the choir and you all are just brilliant peeps...but in case there is one of you out there like me...then take my word for it!  There is peace to be had...and better results...when you deal with them out of patience, love and wisdom.

If you see children out and about town, smile at them...let them know you see them...and if ever an opportunity comes where you can help one or more...take it.  If you don't - who will?

Until tomorrow....   Annie

Christmas 365 – Day 43 (Feb12)

Today I worked in my garden as it was the first warm day that I was at home and had some spare time.  What is thoughtful or mindful about that, you ask? What does gardening have anything to do with spreading the Christmas spirit?  Well…the way I see it, a garden yields beauty and gives endlessly of itself.  Right now, my garden doesn’t look much like a garden.  It is a beastly brown…all dead, bald branches and leafless masses.  But as I have been gardening for several years, I know that what my eyes see is an illusion of what is going on deep within the earth where little baby leaves and stems are making their slow ascent to the sun.  The Christmas spirit is embodied by hope and love and selflessness…and I cannot imagine a better place where these things are played out than a garden.

I don’t know how many of you reading this garden…but if you don’t, I encourage you to buy a pretty, potted plant and take care of it.  Water it…and watch for new little leaves to sprout up.  If you care for it, it will clean the air you breathe.  If you care for it, it will brighten your day.  If you care for it, the knowledge that you have kept something alive all by yourself is pretty neat!  I say the last because I believed myself to have a brown-thumb once upon a time…but over the years, that has changed…thank God!  I really believe that if you take care of a little plant…you will change…something happens…  I find in the presence of plants and nature in general, I slow down and breathe deeply…my eyes ever aware of any changes…  It happened to Pat, too…but his bit of heaven is the grass!  Yup – we’re officially yuppies!

Abram L. Urban said, “In my garden there is a large place for sentiment.  My garden of flowers is also my garden of thoughts and dreams. The thoughts grow freely as the flowers, and the dreams are as beautiful.”  And it is so true for me.  My garden is a place of rest despite the work that goes into keeping it alive.  It is a place where I am free to think and pray and plan and dream and feel unadulterated joy.  Unless I see some grub or bug or caterpillar eating my babies…then the war is on!  But you know, there is joy and satisfaction to be had there as well…even if I do feel a little guilty when I kill those suckers.

From my garden, I will gain peace.  From my garden, I will be able to brighten days as I share bouquets of flowers.  From my garden, I will get exercise and from my garden, we will get fruit and interesting birds and bugs to look at.  My children will have a nice place to play and dream and imagine.  The birds will sing to us.  The bees will buzz around in their lazy way when the heat is heavy and thick.  I guess if you can’t see the connection between a garden and the Christmas spirit…I cannot explain…you just have to live it…

From the picture below, you cannot see all the flowers that were blooming.  there were pink ones, blue ones, purple ones and red ones...and we had persimmons starting to turn their brilliant orange hanging from their branches.  Rosemary bushes and American lilac that are both fragrant plants and lantana flowers of all colors bursting forth...  It was truly amazing after our drought broke...  I'm ready to see all the brown turn into this spectacular palate...  I can't wait!!

Until tomorrow...   Annie

Christmas 365 - Day 42 (Feb 11)

Today I engaged in the gift of fun. You see, I have now become one of those "old" people I used to see as a youth and think, "what's up with them?!" because they would be laughing and carrying on in a place typically reserved for younger people.

Well...now I am one of those "old" people and I have come to realize that just like Forest Gump says, "stupid is as stupid does," I say, "old is as old does," and the truth of the matter is that I'm not "old" because I don't feel old, I don't think old...and I don't behave old as my two tweens can attest to!

I will be 39 this year and I remember once upon a time when I thought you were half in the coffin at that age. I used to think that at that age you would have a funky hair style and wear outdated, lame clothing, complain about aching body parts and start subscribing to AARP magazine and taking Geritol. Seriously!! I really, really believed that!!

Now that I have arrived here, I can attest to the fact that these beliefs were completely unfounded.  Yes - I can't do cartwheels anymore...but then again, they did always make me dizzy...and running up a hill will make me feel out of breath...but isn't that true of 99.3% of the population?  What I do know is that just like when I was in elementary school, I dream of grand adventures...and now that I have a job, I can actually make some of them come true!  Others will have to wait until the children are gone to college...and yes, I will be older still at that point, but my mind will be the same...or maybe even better...and if I'm careful of my body, I should be just fine.

So what fun did I have today? My hubby and I went on a double-date... We went to a place typically reserved for youngsters.  We played laser tag with a bunch of kids and laughed and screamed in glee (okay -I did!) and practiced sniping and covert ops right alongside them. Our friends had just as much fun - no one held back.  After three laser tag games, we played at the arcade...competitive streaks alive and well, more in some than others... Yes, John - I'm talking about you as I think your new name should be "Ruthless!"

The four of us laughed and talked and trash-talked some good smack...and it was no different than when we were kids.  So...in 50 years, when I'm 89...and your grandkids are playing a more advanced form of laser tag…tell them to watch out for the old grandma that can go medieval on them!  You see, a spirit never stops dreaming…of places to go and people to meet…and always remains hopeful until the end.

A dear, dear friend recently shared a song with me that so embodies my Spirit’s desire to dream that I will share it with you.  It is sung by Priscilla Ahn and it is one of the loveliest, most haunting little songs I’ve heard…and I love it.  Hope you will, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKfDwChOoHI&sns=em

Until tomorrow….   Annie

Christmas 365 - Day 41 (Feb 10)

Today was a simple day in that today is the birthday of an incredible lady I had the honor and privilege of meeting through work.  She would have been 96 or 97 today I think...but she passed away two years ago.  I only knew her for two years...and yet during those two years, I learned a lot from her.  She was an incredibly wealthy matriarch with a long history within Texas.  I must admit that when I was on my way to meet her, I was just a bit intimidated...  A poor girl from south Texas going to meet someone who had donated A LOT to philanthropic causes…would I know how to speak the right way?  Was I dressed the right way?  Would I make a fool out of myself?

I'm very glad to say that none of my fears were realized as Ms. Vieve was a true gem in every way possible.  She was so very sweet and accommodating and genuine.  There was nothing pretentious about her or "mightier than thou."  She was a very simple lady...with a lot of wisdom and love...and a great desire to help people.  We became fast friends.  I would take her out of her assisted living residence and take her to eclectic restaurants and tea houses...places that she normally wouldn't visit...and she would say, "oh - how very interesting!" which would make me laugh.

Through her, I learned a lot about Texas history...and how her family developed and how, through the savvy insight of her father and his brothers, they were able to accumulate wealth.  I learned that despite having wealth, she was an incredibly hard worker and instilled those values in her children and that even if you had wealth behind you...you were not immune to tragedy as she had several events happen that I think would have crushed me emotionally.  Despite all that, she remained ever hopeful and giving...determined to better the lot of as many people as possible.  How I so very much admire her...and hope I can be just like her when I grow up.

So today, in her honor...I wrote letters to one of her sons and her daughter, both of which I had previously met, and I let them know how very much their Mom meant to me...and how I miss her still. 

I think before my quest, I would have remembered her birthday and closed my eyes and honored her and the memories I have of her for a few minutes.  But now that I’m trying to be more mindful, I’m glad I have written and mailed those letters…as an encouragement and so that they know that there is someone else out there who thought the world of their mom…because through her, I was able to see the world differently and I was able to learn about what is truly valuable…and it’s not money.

Merry Christmas, Ms. Vieve!  I know that you are spreading your wisdom and cheer in heaven…and meanwhile, I miss you down here…but I have my fond memories… Thank you!

Until tomorrow…   Annie