Today was a very good day. Although I was limited in my exposure to people as I was home recuperating from some upper respiratory yuck, I was able to see some lady friends in the evening at our monthly Bunco game. These ladies are all amazing women that have careers and grown-up families and the way I see it - a lot of wisdom!
I decided to ask them if there was anything they would change about their lives and in the alternative, what advice they would pass along. One of the ladies I asked very poignantly stated, "I don't think there is anything I would change. If I hadn't gone through all that cr*p, I wouldn't be who I am now." Well said! This lady is so warm, funny, stylish and put-together that I can't imagine the "cr*p" she could have gone through...but if there is one thing that has proven itself over and over to me is that it is true - you must never judge a book by its cover because you just don't know what the pages contain.
But back to my task! There were four pieces of advice that were consistently given and I will share them with you.
1. Don't live in a bubble. This is my favorite and it was given by a very neat, awesome lady. She explained how she had focused her whole life on raising her children and being a homemaker that she feels she missed opportunities where she could have blessed others. She said "busy-ness" is the biggest excuse but it really isn't an excuse at all because your efforts don't have to be grandiose...just involved and thoughtful. See why it is my favorite? :)
2. Understand that life is not linear and that life often happens when you're waiting for your plans to come through when they have already gone amiss. I really like this one, too! It is just SO true and the situations are so varied. For example, you're due to fly home but your flight is cancelled... Many people stew and get angry and can't think beyond needing to get on the next available flight...and meanwhile your friend or spouse or child sit on the sidelines affected by your sour, frustrated mood. Even if you're flying alone, your own sour mood affects you and those that come in contact with you. Will that nasty attitude help anything? No - but for many of us, it sure does make us feel better...at least we think it does! I wonder what it would be like if we acknowledged the change and then found things to be positive about. I'm going to try this as part of my mindful living and I'll see if I have anything to report back. You guys do the same, okay?
3. Journal. I must admit I wasn't expecting this one but once I thought about it, it's brilliant. Take a moment everyday and write at least one meaningful thing you would like to remember. One lady said there were so many wonderful, funny things that happened...that she knows happened...but she just can't remember the details. She said she wished she would have written some of those things down so she could share those memories with her husband and children...and grandchildren. Now that I'm writing about it, I think this would be very helpful in learning to live mindfully. I took up journaling a couple of years ago and it helps me be aware of the subtle nuances of life that add the sweetness and spice...plus it is a neat way to leave a legacy for my children, grandchildren and beyond as I don't have to journal only the bad stuff. I have found great joy in journaling the funny, sweet stuff. When I have found myself going through rough patches where I'm angry, hurt or bitter about something, I journal that stuff, too, but as I write I try to think about my children reading my journal and I try to leave wisdom for them in the pages. I try to be honest in my struggle but not just leave the yuck but rather leave some tips as to what I'm trying to do to get over my situation. I find that when I do that, I can think more objectively about my situation and that I'm able to think about wiser/better ways to handle my situation. I think if you don't journal, you should give it a go...you don't have to write a million sentences - start with one or two and see what happens from there. Very therapeutic!
4. Forgive. This is another one that took my by surprise. It's an obvious one but one that most people don't put in the forefront of their thoughts. It's also a toughy because there are the big nasties that you have to think about forgiving...but there are so many other small things that escape us that we hold on to in judgment and condemnation. Case in point for me: San Antonio Drivers. Yes - I judge them, I condemn them and deep in my heart - I know they deserve it!! Haha...clearly I'm a work in progress here! But you see, everyday we run into people and either they do something that we are annoyed at or they cause a situation that annoys us...and we despise them, even if it's just a little. Do we forgive them...or do we just carry the yuck around with us so that if or when we ever run into them again, we make a judgment call and condemn them all over again. Yikes!! As I write this, I am realizing how very guilty I am of this!! I don't put great value in these little judgments and condemnations...but I guess they color my ability to be peaceful and loving. If every time I got in my car I thought about all the lovely, lost people driving that need grace and mercy; if I thought about how I can literally be a vehicle of kindness and let people in, let them pass, not get offended by their antics...I wouldn't be so gosh-darn aggravated every time some dweeb did something thoughtless/dangerous around me. Hmmm - I wouldn't even think they were dweebs... This is definitely something to think and pray about... Forgive...the big things...and those annoying, little everyday things. Got it...and all I can do is work on it!
Tomorrow I will go back in to work and I keep vacillating between having a concrete plan as to what I will do for my next "target" or just going through my day and seeing what opportunity becomes available. So far it seems a good mix of the two with the random opportunities winning out. I am trying to listen for guidance from the Lord...after all, I do what I do in His honor...sometimes I just wish He'd send a text so I know without a doubt that I'm on the right path...
Until tomorrow...
Annie
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