Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Christmas 365 - Day 19

Why does it feel so bad when you haven't done anything wrong against someone but through a strange turn of events, you end up the bad guy? The truth is that you both contributed to the situation...but now - in what feels like "all of a sudden" - you are the bigger contributor of yuck...  Now what?  And no…I’m not talking about my coworker!

I am trying so hard to love the other person as I love myself but that is so very hard when you're trying not to be resentful. I'm trying to find my way to peace but all I want to do is cry and feel sorry for myself. Yesterday I was grumpy just because...  Today I’m sad and desperate for the Lord to wash the yuck away.

What an interesting start to today.  

I actually wrote the top part while waiting for an 8 o’clock meeting this morning.  I thought my day would just continue on in a blah kind of manner but I’m happy to report that it didn’t!  I should have known it would get better as our meeting was happening in a very beautiful little round chapel of a church…and any time you draw near to the Lord, He draws nearer to you.

I met with someone to discuss a continuing partnership between nonprofits…but there was something going on with that person…I could see it.  And so as we as we talked, I asked what was going on and I found out that they were attempting – yet again – to quit smoking and chewing tobacco but they were having a hard time.  They also shared that health issues were spurring this decision on.  I could see the difficulty of it all in the eyes…and I knew they thought I didn’t understand as I don’t struggle with addiction issues…but I do understand.  You don’t have to have an “addiction” to stumble in knowing who you are in the Lord.

I shared that one of the biggest lies that believers have fallen into is thinking they are sinners saved by grace.  That might have been true before we were saved…but once you give your life to Christ, are baptized and raised again…we are new creations and the righteousness of Christ.  We are no longer bound to sin and no longer bound into making sinful choices…but we just have such a hard time believing that.  It is so much easier to think we are sinners saved by grace because then when we mess up, we justify ourselves by saying “well, I’m a sinner! What do you expect?!”  But that isn’t the truth…and I think our life’s journey is to truly understand…to truly internalize…who we are in God.  If you believe, then listen to what the word of God says:

2 Corinthians 5:17 says: therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!
1 Corinthians 6:17 says: but he who unites himself with the Lord is one with Him in spirit.
1 Corinthians 3:16 says: we are God’s temple and God’s spirit lives in us.
Philippians 3:20 says that our citizenship is in heaven. 
2 Timothy says: for God did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.
1 John 5:18 (NLT) says: we know that God’s children do not keep on sinning, for God’s Son holds them securely, and the evil one cannot touch them.

Then the real kicker…  We need to ask if as “believers” we really believe.  Do we truly believe in God?  Because if we do, then we really need to believe in His Word.  And if we do that, we need to believe Hebrews 4:12 – for the word of God is alive and powerful. And then what excuse do we have?

I think it is rare when God just zaps someone in the behind and they are “cured” of all sinful behavior…but I think that is why Paul instructs us in Romans 12:2 to not be conformed to the pattern of this world but to be transformed by the renewing of our mind.  And how do we renew our mind?  By reading His Word and understanding what He says, what He promises, and most importantly, who we are in Him.

Does any of this make sense? 

If we believe, if we read the Word, if we begin to understand the powerful Presence that lives within us, we begin to rely less and less on ourselves and more and more one Him.  I can’t stop making bad choices by myself…but if I read and understand those passages above, then more and more, when I’m tempted to do something or say something that I know I shouldn’t, it becomes easier and easier to choose not to go there.  I don’t have to be that miserable, critical, unhappy, suspicious malcontent anymore…  I have the power to choose life, peace, joy, kindness, forgiveness, mercy, compassion…all the fruits of the spirit.  It boils down to a choice…perhaps not an easy one…but a choice nonetheless.  Are we going to trust Him that if we’re having a tough time He can help us through?  Are we going to trust Him with our lives?  Are we going to give ourselves fully to Him?  He did after all pay a hefty price for us…  Or are we going to continue to struggle on our own?  I guess we all need to answer the question: are we happy with where we’re at – with our relationships, with our “fruit”?  If we are – then what a gift.  But if you know that there is room for improvement…then why not try it His way?

As my friend and I spoke of things such as these, I felt myself lighten in spirit.  I am a princess after all!  I am a citizen of heaven with a spirit of power, love, and self-discipline inside of me.  Am I going to carry myself as such?  I chose “yes” today…tomorrow will tell for itself…but for today, “yes!” 

My day has been pretty good…actually pretty great.  It is amazing what a little change in perspective can do… 

Until tomorrow…
Annie

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